Personal

Hello 26!

When you think about it, life is weird. From 365 days of the year and millions of years I was decided to born on the 4th of July of 1990 a.C., and I have managed to survive for 26 years in this crazy small planet called Earth. It feels surreal.

My 25th year on Earth was crazy. Lots of ups and downs. I gained lots of friends and lost others. Life’s like this. I learned so much about life. 25 was like a new start for me in so many ways.

The struggle of being myself, hasn’t change, it keeps transforming. Being myself has brought good and bad things and I think that’s okay. Not every body has to like me all the time, I wish they did, but I have to carry on. I can’t be who I’m not to please the others. I can’t do it anymore.

When it comes to books, I can’t complain. I read more new favorite books at 25. I read Harry Potter for the first time, and I don’t regret it. I am in love with those books. Also I read new favorite book series like Throne Of Glass, Shadow And Bone and Six Of Crows, and A Darker Shade Of Magic. Beside books, I met new authors in person and online. This little dream I have of writing a book feels more real every time I meet an author. The bookish part of my life keeps getting better.

I still don’t have a BA. No kids, not married, not WIP finished. Nothing. I am still a fangirl, and a dream of big dreams. Sometimes it’s frustrating to think that I am not what society and family has expected me to be… but just you wait. I’m not planning to follow it, but I want and will defy expectations.

Now that I am entering into the late twenties I want to still feel young and I want to write about youth and be a fangirl forever and ever.I want to act like a teenager when is needed and don’t regret it.I want to dance and sing Hamilton like there’s no tomorrow and not be ashamed of it. I want to be myself and keep following my dream, so the moon, the stars and the universe help me.

Goodbye 2015!

Today is the last day of the year and there is everything I got to say:

2015 was year full of great things in my life. First, I officially got a job at a bookstore. I returned to college, now to study English Literature, which I think it was a cool decision. Now time I feel more ready and comfortable than before. I met a decent amount of people and made new friends, I traveled to my dream destination and read amazing books that I’ll never forget. I turned 25 and I don’t feel like it! Well, this year was epic.

One of the best experiences this year brought me was visiting Paris, France for the first time. It’s been my dream since I was a little and after saving a lot of money and as part of a class in college I made it happen. It is the best trip I ever done yet. I went with a group of people I barely knew and they became the people I’ll never forget. This trip changed my life and when I look back at the memories it reminds me that is possible to let go of the fears and enjoy the present. Paris met all my expectations and thanks to that trip I met new people, places, experiences and discovered old authors. In Paris I visited all the places I always dreamed on visiting like the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, Opera Garnier and also meet Vincent Van Gogh paintings. That trip helped me to overcome that depressed part of me. It felt like I got rid of a weight that was slowly shutting me down.

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This year has been all about blogging, books and social network life specially Twitter. Another thing this year brought me was new blogger friends. I am so happy I have met other bloggers, I feel like I found my place in the social network world. The first ones are Shari and Brittany, they are amazing girls and I am so glad they are in my life. I had the chance to meet Shari in person and I’ll hopefully meet Brit next year. Twitter has made me bond with many bloggers and authors. If it wasn’t for those friends this year wouldn’t be the same. I found in them comfort and a place to fangirl about books, which my favorite thing to do.

Besides all my “Twitter/bloggers/book” friends, I met a lot of friends in person. I found people who I can fangirl with and don’t think I am crazy, which makes me so happy. I also met friends who I can sing along Broadway musical songs with me, that is something I never thought it was going to happen in my life!

My love for The Beatles will never stop and this year I got the change to see the other Beatle alive, Ringo Starr, in concert. Also, the new Star Wars movie came out. I found my new favorite book in “I’ll Give You The Sun” by Jandy Nelson. I ran all over obsessed with Leigh Bardugo and her wonderful characters Inej and Alina (my fictional twins) and let my heart be amazed, in love and broken by Sarah J. Maas books. I read new authors and learned  a lot from their writing because they are my heroes and role models. Finally, I got a new phone and finally changed from PC to MAC.

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My hair now shorter and I’m older. My blog has it’s domain name. And I know how to make metal jewelry. This year was full of new people, new experiences and memories that will stay in my heart forever.

So I say goodbye to a wonderful year and hello to a new year of better things. I wish you all a Happy New Year!

2016 I’m ready!

 

End of chapter 24. Start chapter 25.

I feel sad because I have to say goodbye to a very special age in my life but, I am thankful. I have lived 25 years in is messy but beautiful place called Earth and I have the chance to see and feel many things that some people haven’t. When I was 24 I made some dreams come true and some not. I have learned a lot of new things and met amazing people that will become life long friends.

At 24, I didn’t finished my novel draft. I am still working on it, I’m sure of the story I want to tell and I am not giving it up.

At 24, I fulfilled my dream of going to Paris. It was an unforgettable experience, I will never forget. That trip changed my life.

At 24,I went to Las Vegas but more specially, I visited Gran Canyon. And I also saw real RAVENS! That place and the ravens are so beautiful.  Can’t wait to go back.

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At 24, I met amazing people that believe in me and in my dreams. People who do not laugh when I tell them that I want to be a writer.

At 24, I met authors on social media and I met other book bloggers like me. They blogging community is great.

At 24, I read books that will be forever my favorites. Mara Dyer, I’ll Give You The Sun, Never Never, Every Day, Liar’s, Inc.,The Raven Cycle, The Museum Of Intangible Things, My Name Is Memory… and others.

At 24, I got a job in a bookstore and I love it. Now I can moderate book clubs, talk about books all day, meet book lovers, and many other things.

At 24, I went back to collage and now I finally decided what I want to be… I want to be a writer.

Maybe I got more depressed and more tired and more negative, but I have learned a lot from it. There’s still dreams I want to fulfill and I have no plans on giving them up.

I feel more determinate now.

I still feel young, and this is my time, this is my chance.

Let’s keep writing, blogging, reading and drinking coffee!

Allons-y!

 Happy 25th Birthday TO ME! 

The truth about my mind.

My head is a non stop thinking machine. I don’t know how other people minds works but mine most of times is annoying. I can be okay for a while, for a day, whatever amount of time, it only takes a very insignificant situation to pull in all the bad thoughts. I can’t find a way to shut off my mind of telling me bad things about me. My mind tells me I am not good enough and puts me down. I want to shut it off, but the people who triggered this are still there. I know can’t blame them for this because I am the one thinking these thoughts.It really hard to live like this. I’m the kind of person who always avoid doing something wrong because of this. I don’t want all these bad feelings again. I don’t like letting people down because it proves me my foolishness and confirms me how I am such a bad person. I am not good enough and people can’t understand this and they still believe in me and I keep letting them down.

I need to write this down because I can’t find another way to let these thoughts go away, I can’t shut up my mind. I feel helpless. Since I can’t take my mind out, I spit it out with words.

i write this because I needed to let this all out and make it public because I hope to find people like me.

Thanks for reading.

M.

General Update.

I’m having a hard time finding time to read. I am reading, but literature assigned for college. College and work are consuming time, you should know. But soon, I will post new reviews from ARCs and others book that are on my TBR list for a while.I have few more original post coming and I hope you like them. Don’t panic, I am still blogging!

In two weeks I’m leaving to Paris for 9 days. I am super excited. It is my childhood dream and I can’t wait to meet the city and write and get inspired. I will be posting blogs about that too.

So which books are have you added to your shelf recently?

What are you reading?

I got Vanishing Girls, The Orphan Queen and Mosquitoland. I can’t wait to have the proper time to read them. Now, I am reading In The Afterlight ( the last book on The Darkest Minds series) and We All Looked Up ( coming out March 24) .

xx.

Wasting time?

Starting college last month and taking a literature course has jeopardized my reading life. Now I have to study, read other stuff and since I hate studying it’s alreading giving me a hard time. I wont be posting lots of book reviews as I wish because I am reading the books I choose reading more slowly. The good part is that, I got a lots of eARCs and I can’t wait to read those and post my reviews.

Now, I’m reading a bit of Ernest Hemingway for my coming soon trip to Paris. I like him so far, I feel a connection between us, I bet it is because we are writers.

I don’t know what else to tell you. I am in Starbucks trying to study but wasting my time writing this post. Now, everybody know how and when I waste time. Is this wasting time, really?

xx

Going Back To College.

Tomorrow, I am going back to college after two years of finishing an Associate’s Degree. I have to admit that I feel scared and nervous. I don’t remember well how does it feel to go back to a classroom, meet new people, feel awkward in a class room and all that. I am making my greatest effort here to go to college and try to have a “good future”. I decided I wanted to be writer because, it’s the one thing I’ve never stopped doing and I love writing. I know that if this is the career I want to pursuit I need a lot of improvement, so this is the first step. I have other dreams and things that I want to do, and this is me trying to figure what are the things I want most.

I hope everything goes well on this semester, is going to feel weird at first. The best part is that I am going to Paris in less than three months!

Goodbye 2014.

Being this the last day of 2014, I took some time to settle down and reflect about this year that is soon to end. I didn’t fulfilled every resolution or plan but new plans came along the way. First of all, I didn’t finished any of the novels I planned to finish writing. New ideas came, I spend a lot of time writing them down and doing lot of research and daydream. At the end, I decided that I will not force myself to finish them, I will eventually finish writing something when the right time comes and  when I feel ready.

I traveled twice this year and I did things in both trips that I always wanted to do. I walked around New York City alone, I breathed the Central Park, I got lost in the subway, I cried for John Lennon in front of where he was killed, I drank coffee at a local coffee shop and I stood in the middle of Grand Central. It was me against the city, my against the world and it felt amazing. I went to see the Phantom Of The Opera on Broadway finally. It was my dream and I made it happen. The second trip was to Las Vegas. It wasn’t the best trip but good things happened. I went to Grand Canyon and I saw my favorite bird in real life, the ravens. I absorbed everything I could for further writing. I cried when I came back because I wanted to stay, not in Vegas but in the West. I love that side of the country, and I was 5 hours away from my real target, Los Angeles.

On both trips I wanted to stay. It’s been my plan for over 2 years. I want to move to USA but it never happens. I have decided to return to college so I will stay here for a while and see how it goes.

On this year, I decided finally that I want to be a writer (well, I want to be an actress and singer too. Always.). I’m 24 years old and I was still confused over what to do with my life. I thought of something that I will never get tired of and that is, writing. I been writing since I was 6 and I never stopped. Whether is writing a blog, writing for a newspaper or my biggest goal of writing a book, I want to write always.

One of the things I’d say I do and I did was quitting my old job. i used to work in a bank and I was sick of it. I felt like drowning there, I felt my soul accepting the comfort of the non-comfort zone and I had to get out. I saved enough money to live without a job for a while, filled myself with courage and presented my quitting letter. I felt such relief and happiness of doing something I never thought I was able to do. I felt very proud of myself and my friends were happy for me too. In that period after I read a lot and I wrote a lot. I watched the whole 7 seasons of Doctor Who (and fell in love with the 10th Doctor) and dedicated a lot of my new time for my blog.

My blog reached this year the 153 followers and over 2,500 views. I love blogging and I plan to grow and improve at blogging next year. I am very thankful for each view and each follow. I also decided to keep the name of my blog as it is. When I thought about changing it I read a book that confirmed me to keep the tittle I already choose.

Of course, bad thing happened this year. My cousin died in a car accident in May. It was terrible, my family was shattered, it was unexpected and we are still trying to recover. Sometime later I started having panic attacks. They came and they are terrifying. I felt like my body was about to shut down at any moment. I wanted to run away from wherever I was and I locked myself inside my house until I could control them. Few weeks ago, my boyfriend spent a week in the hospital and Christmas season was kind of messy. I was very worried and anxious (yes. I am anxiety girl.) From each experiences I have learned something new.

Last but not least (at all), I read this year a total of 53 books! Yes! I read a lot. I learned so much with each book I read and each one mean something for me. I am thankful for every book, every inspiring word, every story and every fictional female character that’s now my role model.

I finally got the chance to go to see Paramore live. It’s been 10 years since I became a fan and I dreamed on going to their concert and I finally had my chance. It was the best concert ever. It was a dream come true for me. Somehow that concert made me feel different, alive and maybe that was a moment when I started to let go of my insecurities and fears on being unaccepted by the society.

Now, I am working in a bookstore full of the smell of books and coffee. I like better this job and my anxieties are controlled. I have no idea what 2015 will bring but I already have plans for Paris and New York. I know its going to be a great year. I welcome the new year knowing how to calm my fears, carry on with the small stuff. Understanding that friends come and go but life doesnt stop. I accept myself as I am with all my imperfections and virtues and I set it ready for new books, new experiences and new people.

And you, who read all the way to here I thank you for reading. Maybe you didn’t had a great year overall but I am sure you had good days. The rain come and go but, the sun is constant and it’s there. Thank you for joining me and for reading my posts, it made me feel less lonely.

Goodbye 2014, with all the bad days included, it’s been a wonderful year. Everything I learned this year will help me for next year and I can’t wait to see what’s next.

I want to keep writing but then I figured I should keep things to myself. See you next year !

xx

Melanie.

Happy Christmas!

“A very Merry Xmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear.”

Merry Christmas to all my followers!

I’m feeling sick these days but that’s not excuse to enjoy the holidays and have the best time I can. I got cool presents this year. I hope you have a great day with your family and friends or with whoever is making your Christmas day less lonely.

I love you all. Merry Christmas.

xx

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